LifE is Full of Ups and DoWns

Sometimes I asked myself why did I chose this difficult life to live with?
Studied 5 years in med school
By the time I graduating, the teenage life has ended
Then the responsibility as a doctor started before I could say 'I need a break'
Then keep holding on and go on this hardship and live this life on my own
Far from family and home
Away from beloved ones
And having high risk of being scolded everyday
Having high risk of making mistakes everyday
Meet sick people and their anxious family members
Feeling so insecure when u know that their lives are in your responsibility
And feeling so empty when they became sicker or even worse, passed away

Everyday starts like yesterday never ends
Never able to admire the sunrise coz u always reach inside hospital before 7
and u go back at least 5.30-6pm feeling so tired
and night is so short that u wont even able to enjoy the free time u got
then morning arrives before u realizes that u got a night to spend for yourself

I woke up every day feeling so frustrated that this is not a nightmare
That what I'm living now is a real life

Its not that i'm regreting but I juz wonder why it's so difficult
Why this ethusiasm has slowly fades away

God, I'm trying my best..
I'm doing my best to hold on
But it's juz too hard...

i re-watched this movie today
really like Hillary Duff in this movie :)
this movie is about Holly -the blogger the girl on the move
moving from one town to the other everytime her mother broke up
funny+weird
this time they moved to Brooklyn NY
there, she started a resolution in finding a perfect man for her mother
she fake herself as a secret admire to her mother
just to make her happy
however, while doing it, she met a boy
but lies are not meant to be lies forever
one day she had to tell the truth and broke her mother heart
and wonder whats going on next?
well, it's always a good ending, wouldnt it?
i cant really explain how then the story goes
maybe u guys can watch it and smiles at the happy ending then

tomorrow start working and oncall
dude, i really not ready
but as the title said, JUST JUMP AND SWIM!
just do my best..
(^_^)
hopefully

weekend off..he.
spend some time for myself
dah lama xbuat hal utk diri sendiri haha
first of all, gi dobi baju yg dah seminggu aku timbun dlm bakul

then buat keje yg dah lama aku xbuat : hias my room!
after send baju for dobi,
aku gi central square and village mall buy some stuff
and start hias2!!
(^_^) sukenye..
clovers wall paper with favorite poem : IF by Rudyard Kippling


wish list and upcoming event on the cupboard

then create this blog
huhu

it's 3 am in the morning
and
ngantuk...
goodnite
(^_^)