LifE is Full of Ups and DoWns

Sometimes I asked myself why did I chose this difficult life to live with?
Studied 5 years in med school
By the time I graduating, the teenage life has ended
Then the responsibility as a doctor started before I could say 'I need a break'
Then keep holding on and go on this hardship and live this life on my own
Far from family and home
Away from beloved ones
And having high risk of being scolded everyday
Having high risk of making mistakes everyday
Meet sick people and their anxious family members
Feeling so insecure when u know that their lives are in your responsibility
And feeling so empty when they became sicker or even worse, passed away

Everyday starts like yesterday never ends
Never able to admire the sunrise coz u always reach inside hospital before 7
and u go back at least 5.30-6pm feeling so tired
and night is so short that u wont even able to enjoy the free time u got
then morning arrives before u realizes that u got a night to spend for yourself

I woke up every day feeling so frustrated that this is not a nightmare
That what I'm living now is a real life

Its not that i'm regreting but I juz wonder why it's so difficult
Why this ethusiasm has slowly fades away

God, I'm trying my best..
I'm doing my best to hold on
But it's juz too hard...